The Cancercoaster

It's been a few week since I last wrote a blog post (realised I'm always like "soz its been a while" although its been longer than usual this time in my defence) and that's because I've been totally and utterly wiped out by chemo number 2. Its literally hit me like a bus and if I'm totally 100% honest, I've been a little bit broken, both mentally and physically over the last few weeks. Its hard because we all know that going through chemo is no walk in the park but its hard to explain just how poorly it can make you feel sometimes. Its not just the physical effects either, its the testing of your mental strength to carry on when you're feeling that way and the emotions that come from missing social events, not been able to play with the kids or not been able to go for a walk because you feel so crappy. These are also my go to head clearers/soul food so not been able to do these things has been hard. Please don't worry though, I am feeling loads better as I'm now having an extra week before my next chemo to recover and have been in touch with my Breast Care Nurses, Oncologist, Family & Friends who have helped me through and got me the help I need. I'll also admit its taken me ages to write this blog post because of how I've been feeling and I was debating whether or not I'd sound like a moaning Minnie but then I though ya know what - Breast Cancer isn't all pink and fluffy, sometimes its just a bit shit no matter how positive you generally are and the mental impacts are as real as the physical impacts.

Moving Forward

I was due to have my final EC (Red Devil) chemo today (4th Oct) but after speaking to my (amazing) Oncologist on Friday about how I've been feeling over the last few weeks we've come up with a new treatment plan. Instead of having the EC, I'm having an extra week to recover and then I'll move onto weekly Paclitaxel (instead of Docetaxol every 3 weeks) as Paclitaxel is apparently better tolerated by most people - I'll let you know!. I feel relieved that we've been able to come up with something else because I was in a bit of a pickle and not looking forward to the thought of another EC. With this in mind I'm making the most of finally feeling better and been able to do things with the boys. I don't think it has helped that it has finally come to the time that I've had to temporarily withdraw from Uni while I complete my treatment. As you know I absolutely loooove my course so I am gutted to be away from Uni and Placement (well technically I am there, just as a patient!). Do not worry though, it will not stop me popping my Sciencey/Radiography spin on things.

Look Good Feel Better (LGFB)

A few weeks ago I booked onto a makeup and skincare workshop run by an amazing Cancer support charity called Look Good Feel Better. They run free workshops on all sorts like make-up, yoga and nailcare. I did the Skincare and Makeup one morning last week via Zoom and it was nice to get some tips on how to do your make-up when you've lost your eyebrows and eyelashes (not that mine have have yet!) and just get some general tips on applying eyeshadow etc. I'm not the best with make-up and usually I don't wear make-up unless I'm going out but since losing my hair I've found myself wearing make-up more and more everyday as personally I feel like it helps me feel more feminine and less like a Cancer patient/close to death. I am also trying to look as far from one of the characters from Roald Dahls 'The Witches' as possible! It doesn't help that Ryan let Ollie watch the film (the 2020 version! where the witches are bloody scary) and the poor kid is scared witless.

Getting wiggy with it!

As I was starting to come round last week I went to get a wig! I had a lovely time with my Mother-In-Law (Thanks Sandy😘). We made an afternoon of it an had lunch at Harvey Nics (oo-errr) before going to the wig shop which was in the Victoria Quarter in Leeds. It was a strange experience I'm not gonna lie. It was really strange seeing myself with hair again! I've been bald for a good 3 and a bit weeks now so to me, it looks quite normal seeing a bald head so seeing myself with an abundance of hair was bloody weird. It was fun trying on different styles, seeing what I look like with slightly different coloured hair and seeing how different I look with different cuts. One of them took me back to been 17 with a big sweeping side fringe and lots of layers. I decided on the one that was most like my hair before it came out as I wanted something that would make me feel more 'me'. Before I went to the shop I honestly didn't think I was that bothered about getting a wig but thought I might as well give it a go (a wig is included free on the NHS as part of my treatment plan - I didn't know this was the case at all until the breast care nurses told me when they made the referral). I was really surprised by how natural/real the wigs looked, especially as they are actually not made of human hair (they're acrylic and this means you can't style them with heat etc). You can get human hair ones that can be styled like your normal hair but they're pricey though. I think I will probably look into this for the wedding in April as I want to have my hair up and curly. If anyone has any tips/hacks/websites for real hair wigs lemme know! Here's some pics of the wig and of course, the boys have all had a go with it (Ryan included but he would kill me if I posted the picture of him in it haha!)

Lets Gooooo STEEELERRRSS

As I've been feeling better we took the opportunity to have tea out then go see the Sheffield Steelers as it's one of mine and Ryans fave things to do. Ollie has been to one game before but Jack had never been so we decided to go on Saturday. I was a little bit nervy going somewhere with so many people and wondered if I was been careless (we'll soon see if I've caught something I guess) but I suppose I can't lock myself away. I'm glad I didn't because I had the best bloody time! The boys were chanting, we were all whoooshing and to top it off we won. If you've never been to ice hockey before - I would recommend it! The atmosphere is awesome and I love the bit of rough and tumble.

Hopefully it won't be as long between posts next time!

Kirst x