When Negative is a good thing!!

It been around a week since I went public with this blog and I want to say massive thank you to each and every one of you that has taken the time to send me a message or comment with your well wishes 😊. I can see it can be quite shocking to see someone you know suddenly blurt something out too and may have even triggered some people - I hope everyone is okay. I really do appreciate everyone's kind words though, it made me feel better (and took a weight off my shoulders) as like I said before I was apprehensive to post something so personal for everyone to see but it also meant I didn't have to keep telling people over and over which is the part I've found the hardest over the last few weeks.

On the 26th May I had some more biopsies taken from my armpit (posh name "axilla") as when I'd had my original biopsies taken (they initially took 4 biopsies from the dodgy boob and a different type of biopsy called a fine needle aspirate (FNA) from my lymph node) the Radiologist had noticed that one of my lymph nodes has a thickening to it which was a little worrying. The first biopsy from my lymph nodes came back negative but as the cancer in my boob came back as invasive, the Dr's wanted to do a bigger biopsy to check again whether there was any spread. I will do a separate post on staging & grading because I think its definitely useful when trying to understand what Cancer means (it is rather complicated!!) but I get not everyone that follows this will wanna read the sciencey stuff or might find it a bit scary.

"Oooh you're the Student Radiographer aren't you" and it really took me by surprise that they knew and remembered. It instantly put me at ease and made me feel looked after and not just a number in the system of millions of patients.

I also think its worth sharing my experience of going for these biopsies. Not gonna lie, I was shi**ing myself because I knew what was coming this time (last time it happened so quick I didnt know!) and was worrying it was going to hurt with it been in my armpit this time which is more sensitive to stab than a boob. As I was getting sorted for the procedure (aka stripping off and getting my boobs out😂) the clinical support worker said "Oooh you're the Student Radiographer aren't you" and it really took me by surprise that they knew and remembered. It instantly put me at ease and made me feel looked after and not just a number in the system of millions of patients. Fast forward 5 mins, I'm in the procedure room, laid on the bed, boobs out waiting for the Radiologist to come in and get going and in he comes with a booming "HELLLOOOO" he then started getting my details up on the Ultrasound machine and goes "OH NO! You're only 28 and you've got cancer!". I was literally laid there with my boobs out like "Ermmm.. yep👀". But as weird as his bedside manner was, it proper made me laugh. So now I'm laid there laughing my head off with my boobs out while this Radiologist is trying to clean my armpit with an iodine stick so he get could stuck in. I don't even know why it made me laugh so much. I do have an awkward sense of humour though.

Everything went well in getting the biospies, lots of local anaesthetic was injected and I felt nothing once that was in. I even watched the whole thing as it was guided by ultrasound and strangely enjoyed watching it and figuring out what the different densities and things were (note: ultrasound is literally another language compared to x-ray so I had literally no idea what I was looking at). My armpit then swelled up so it was like I had a 3rd boob and was sore but went down after a few days. I then went home and did my final uni exam whilst snuggled up under a blanket on the sofa - not bad for an exam really! I had it done on the Weds and did a placement shift on Friday and was OK.

Yesterday (04/05/21 - Friday) after a looooong 10 days wait I was able to call the breast unit to get the results on my biopsies. I'd been on placement Weds & Thurs and was absolutely exhausted on Thursday both from placement and worrying about what the results of the biopsies would be. I fell asleep as soon as I got home at 5.30pm and only woke up when my lovely Ryan wafted a hash brown & beans sarnie under my nose (my absolute fave 😋).

So I called and the results were... N-E-G-A-T-I-V-E! There was no evidence of cancer in the biopsies. They said the lymph node was just a 'reactive lymph node' which I understand to just be a lymph node doing its thang and fighting something off. So its fab news in that the cancer is just in my boob and isn't having free roam. I put the phone down and cried. Happy tears everywhere. I can't remember the last time I felt such a relief and massive sense of happiness and joy. I then rang my dad and we cried again.

This is literally how I have felt ever since. I went into placement in the afternoon (I stayed at home in the morning to get my results) and literally skipped in and wanted to dance about but then remembered I had to be professional. There were a few people that knew my situation that I have been working with this week so I told them the good news and it was so good to be able to tell people good news. Next step is appointment with the consultant on Monday to discuss the final plan and hopefully get a surgery date!

Have a smashing weekend! - I know I will!

Kirst x